I hate nights like this. Nothing to do, no money... The friends I have up here all live in Marysville (the distance from Hurricane to Cedar,) or are just too busy. I don't have enough gas to get anywhere exciting, and I don't have the energy to hop on a bus. Katie and Christina plan on having me come up there (Marysville) next week some time, though. I'm pretty excited for that... It should be a bit (lot) more entertaining than sitting around in the UW dorms.

I've no one to talk to in person besides my roommates, who are not so exciting at this moment. I'm tired of talking about video games anyway. I want to talk about something real. I need more (local) friends that have similar interests who will go out with me at night, or whatever. It's so fucking frustrating not knowing anyone, and not being confident enough in myself to go and make friends.

Nintendo is planning to hire me back "sometime in the beginning of March." They'll probably just hire me as a temp for one month or something ridiculous. At least I'll be able to buy food regularly. That's slightly important. coughbutatleastimloosingweightcough

Oohh, what else has happened... Nothing? Ah...

listening to: The Decemberists - Her Majesty

I don't even know what to say in this one, hah. I generally wait a month between postings, but I've been feeling utterly terrible these last few months -- especially February. I suppose that is why I come here though, comfort? Talking to myself at this time of night is really the only thing I can resort to, I suppose.



That sums up just about how I'm feeling now. There's almost pain with this one, though. My whole fucking body hurts. Sleep and food being replaced by video games and cigarettes is likely to blame.

On the bright side I have made a new friend, Katie. Of course I've only hung out with her once, we've been conversing ever since. She's exceedingly nice and chats with me regularly -- which is what I've been lacking in friendships since I've moved to this rainy, depressing, cold, dark town. It makes me feel generally better about things to have at least one person up here I can half-way relate to. Strange I'm saying such things about someone I hardly know, hah.

listening to: Dream Theater - Train of Thought

I took the Wayback Machine today, 'twas quite a ride. Below are a few things I dug up.

My 16-year-old self, starting the blog that is what it is now. Of course I was a pretty ridiculous kid at that time... Those who knew me at that point totally understand this, those who don't will probably just think I'm stupid.



Yep... I'm ridiculous.

And now something I found by linking off that page - my ex-girfriend's old blog! Ah, the memories. This is a bit earlier in the year (2005) than what I quoted above.



Expressing concern at her extreme flirtations and dreams of fucking every last one of my friends... makes me insane. A funny side note to that: She broke up with me about two months later for two of my good friends. Take careful note that I am not expressing anger at this point. I just think it is humorous.

Take the wayback machine yourself to what I once thought was a TTLY AWESOMEZ web design. Ho ho ho.

reading: War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells

I still happen to feel the same as I did in the posting of last. Of course I have had time to consume more words by Vernor Vinge and H.G. Wells. I am clearly on a science fiction kick, as everyone should be, all the time. Only good science fiction, mind you. None of that Star Wars fan writing bullshit. Frankly, no Star Wars bullshit at all. Sure, the movies are good (and only the earliest few,) but nothing else. Fuck Star Wars. *cough* I digress...

Back on subject. I'm still feeling depressed. Same as before. I talked to Tiffany today. She asked for my high school education. I constantly dread facing that simple question. As I have yet to even pursue my GED. Of course not having my GED makes it that much harder for her to find me a job. Shit. Not like I wasn't expecting that. Getting my GED will not be hard at all, I'm just lazy as hell. My laziness is detrimental.

I also contacted Garret (my to-be roommate) to see how the process of kicking out their one roommate is going. It's looking like he won't be out until this weekend, if that! I was told that I would get February rent-free if I wasn't in by Monday... Today is Monday. Not that it upsets me that February will be free, of course, but I am beginning to get totally pissed at the entire situation. I was suppose to be moved in five days ago, enjoying my freedom. I'm feeling claustrophobia as depression clouds around. I'm already starting to feel powerless. Dammit.

listening to: Shuffle

Two days ago, Friday, I got the call I've been expecting for a while here. My temp. job at Nintendo was completed. I did know it was coming, as the call volumes have been really low for the past two weeks. I wasn't expecting to be so disappointed. It kinda threw me into this odd depression. Of course I'm worried about being able to pay rent. Even with the money behind me to pay about three months rent... and by then I'm sure to have a job. Aerotek says they already have a few things in mind for me, but as I was fired on Friday at like 4:30, my recruiter, Tiffany, had already gone home for the weekend. So it looks like I'll have to wait until Monday to hear anything about that.

Yet another most amazing thing that happened to me on Friday: I got an email from Garret, one of my to-be roommates, stating that I would not be able to move in that day (Friday) as the guy their kicking out is a huge, insane, asshole. He has, one way or another, found some sort of fucking tenant law that allows him to stay in the room for a few more days. The people I'll be moving in with are very chill, nice, et cetera. They just got unlucky with this guy I guess. He won't be there when I go in, so that doesn't matter much to me.

I just want to be out of here. I can hardly read my book for Christ sake. I slept on the floor in the family room last night - about 0000 to 0400, and then slept from 0410 to 1000, and again from 1600 to 2000... In other words; all day long. Just to avoid everything. I still feel like I want to sleep more. I just want to sleep and sleep and sleep. And then when I wake up it would be nice to go to some sort of college for a few years before going to my dream school: UCSD. I will probably have to sleep much longer before going to UCSD.

listening to: Rivers Cuomo - Alone: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo

*Achewood