My brain is mushy tonight; 's leakin' through me ears!

I did go to The Simpson's Movie tonight, and Denny's. I feel bad for Her, it's loud how silent I am around new people. The problem likely is that most people don't like hearing what I have to say, so I've learned to not say anything at all. Maybe people think I'm innocent, or unintelligent, or stuck up, or lost, confused... I'm mostly just afraid. I don't understand that, either. Maybe?--I'm always trying to open up to people, but nearly everyone I have (opened up to) turns out to be exactly what I fear. 1/5 (one of five) people have been, and remain to be, everything I hope for in a friend to hang out with, or sort out ideas with. I've been out of touch with him lately, too. So 0/5, I suppose. I'm out of touch with everything lately though. That's why I have to throw all my disorganized thoughts out into this blog, and hope someone tell me, "Hey, think about this:..."

listening to: Karate - In Place of Real Insight

I suppose this post will be a longer one, seeing as the last one was short, meaningless and likely boring to read. The picture's kinda big too--might change that...

Work, in nuce, has been boring, tiresome, repetitive, long... I am getting money though. I just put $378.30 on my credit card, putting my credit back in line (no debt.) I have plenty of cash to last until the next one comes if, that is, I am frugal. Which is possible, yet I assume I'll end up in a book store or at some fancy restaurant to spend it all at once. Or a gas station, fucking gas using up my entire goddamn paycheck. *grumble*

I'm going to The Simpson's Movie later in the week, on Saturday I believe. With someone, or several someones. I don't really know what is going on. I'm a bit nervous as I always am around humans in these casual, friendly settings. Strange? I don't think so; it's nerve-wrecking as hell trying to say something not boring when you are a very, very boring person.

I finished the last Harry Potter book. I've been reading them since I was a child,--I still remember when Amy bought me all three for Christmas =)--and am quite disappointed at the simple, obvious ending. Maybe the movies will be nice to watch? Likely not, seeing as they picked the worst Harry Potter ever.

listening to: Elliott Smith - "Basement II" Demos

I'm going to become a FUCKING mute. Life 'd be much easier, I believe.

I don't feel like posting a long blog.

listening to: The Beatles - Help!

Shiit, my 40th post. Or is "over the hill" 50? I think it is. Oh well, I'm still calling my blog "over the hill."

Today was shitty. Really shitty. I did get paid the other night though which was nice. It wasn't the biggest check at $330.something, but I'll deal. It gave me enough to see how bad Daniel Radcliffe really is. His little friend's are pretty bad too, even though I want to lay Emma Watson. That movie sucked. Oh, yeah, back to my shitty day. There wasn't much to it. Other than being in a HORRIBLE mood at work. I kept wanting to use my box-cutter the way it was meant to be used, on my ARM. I didn't, though. I just brooded all day. Mary Ann was nice to me at lunch though, cheered me up slightly it did. (Mary Ann is my dept. manager). I then realized how close to finished we were for the day. It cheered me up a bit more. I think by 4:00 AM I was feeling OK. Guh, excuse the rambling, I'm tired.

The reason I was upset, I think, was because I felt very alone. Not at work, but in life generally. I just don't have anyone to talk to, or be around anymore. The people that I would like to be around, I'm afraid of talking to; or, at least, beginning to talk to. I think I'd be fine if the ice was broken. I guess I haven't really had anyone to be around since being a Jr. in high school, though. It was fine before, but now it's really starting to hurt. Sigh.

I think I'll be hanging out with someone this weekend. Nervous as fuck for that, though. That isn't surprising at all though, seeing as I haven't hung out with someone I don't know very well for... two years. *loner*

listening to: Muse - Black Holes and Revelations