Over the last week or two I have been really depressed, obviously. I don't really know what set it off. It didn't lead to anything good; I quit my job, I stressed people out, I hurt myself, and I probably hurt others by the way in which I was acting. For those of you who I did hurt, if you read this or if you don't, I'm sorry. For those of you who I know read this, Alexis and Eric, thank you. =) Without the two of you there to raise your hands and say, "we care, Scott," I would have been far worse off. When my head is screwed on the right way I do understand how much you care, though I tend to forget all of that when I get all emo.

I don't really know what to do with all my time now. I suppose I should be getting a new job. It would be a ton easier if I had my GED, so maybe I should work on that first. I was just sent what I assume is going to be the last bit of money Arby's has coming to me, so I have to be very careful with my money from now until I am employed once more. I'm feeling better, but I'm still in that mood where I don't want to do anything. I'm extremely unmotivated and lazy. I love having work to do, running errands, playing futsal, trying to keep in touch with old friends... I don't see how one can settle down with a steady job. The longest job I have held was for nearly a year. It was a terrible idea to quit that job, though the reason I quit was for the same reason I stopped working for Arby's. I was badly depressed and wanted to be away from everything. I worked at DQ before working at Xclusive Marketing, I worked at DQ for 3 weeks and quit the same as always. I'm fucking doomed. I believe that if I am able to pick up another office job of some sort I would be able to hold it for at least a year if not more. I would force myself. Getting my GED and starting college is a MUST. This is going to take a lot longer than I imagined.

Laurel and Ryon are down this weekend. They arrived last night. It made me feel like a bad friend... Tyler wanted to hang out--we haven't hung out forever--last night, but I had to tell him no because Laurel and Ryon were just getting here. I feel like shit for that. =/ I'm sure him and I will be able to hang out in the future, I just hate turning people down like that. I think Laurel, Ryon, my parents, and the rest of the family are going out to dinner tonight. No children. =) That should be fun.

I don't have anyone that I can really talk to this weekend. Alexis is up north at a debate tournament, and no one else is really in touch. Time for a lot of acting happy and forgetting about how I really feel. Hurrah.

listening to: Armin van Buuren - A State of Trance 2006