Okay, the last time I posted a blog I said this: "Surprisingly, this winter/holiday season, I am not all that depressed. Not any more depressed than usual, anyway. I think it has something to do with the good friends I have and not being in school." Well, that has changed completely. Good things have happened, but the good feelings have yet to stick. Alexis and I ran about in Hurricane and St. George, visited the antique shop, ate Thai food, and threw pennies from great heights. The greatest heights you can really reach by a building in St. George, anyway. We even fit a movie in there somewhere before she had to go home. It was the happiest I've been and most fun I can account for since... well, for several months. haha. Thinking back makes me smile and almost makes me happy about my life. The feelings are fleeting, though. I don't know why; I want to be happy, I just don't know how.

I think I just need to relax. Getting my mind off of things would probably help... I don't have quite enough motivation to do anything, though. I think I'll write something today, or draw, or loosen up my rusted web design joints.

The other day, Saturday, I beleive, I received a letter from "Bro." Wilson. I would transcribe it here, but I threw it away, and I don't have it memorized. Basically what it said was: "Please start coming to seminary and church, we miss you." Blah, blah. I almost feel bad. Almost. It's nice that they care, I guess, but why do nothing more than ask me to come back? Why not ask me how I feel? Why not try and understand my reasons for leaving, and respect them? I respect their reasons for staying, whether I feel they are right or not. What I do not respect is ignorance. "He was a good boy once. Too bad he opened his mind to the world and got a clue. Now he's all kinds of evil." Beleive in God, have faith in whatever religion you want, but respect how I feel.

listening to:
James LaBrie - Elements of Persuasion