The last few days I have been working... I guess it isn't as bad as I thought it would be. It takes up time. Time I otherwise would probably be wasting. I work from 5:00-10:00 (close) tonight. It will suck... Probably not as bad as I am thinking it will, but there will also be only three of us for most of the time, and I'm bad at everything still, haha. I don't care. Though it is stressful when I fuck up at work, I don't think on it very long, and not at all when I get off of work. I try not to think about work. I am going to be getting money soonish! :D Two weeks, I think, since the other people were just paid. I didn't receive a paycheck because I have only been working there for a few days. Nearly a week now. I'm excited to get a paycheck because once I do, I will be buying RAM. Yesss. Right now I can't even run photoshop, and I can only play old games. Gaming isn't the only thing I would like to be doing, though.

I really want to start doing more technical things on the computer again. I will have to re-learn a lot of stuff, though. That doesn't bother me. Once I start getting into it again I think I will learn quickly, I'm not sure where to start though. Probably learning Python, Lisp, C#, and your basic must-know programming languages. It will help to be as much of a master of UNIX as my brother, I'm not sure how else to learn that but through experience. I think I would like to get into game design as well, even though that sounds kinda silly. It would take a lot of patience and practice though. It requires a bit of computer art skills, which I currently don't (think) I have. We will see with time!

I also thought it would be pretty cool to be a really good artist, and follow in my dad's footsteps... or something. I love art. I am really horrible now, but I'm sure I can learn how. I am also sure I could teach myself well enough if I had the patience. I really don't though. I started reading and doing (one) excersizes in an art book, Drawing On the Right Side of the Brain, but for some reason I just stopped reading and doing excersizes in it. It is a great book, even if you already know how to draw, or don't intend to learn how to draw. I just... lost motivation. I did one excersize and the result was astonishing. Maybe someone needs to guide me, haha.

Speaking of guidance, last night I was thinking if I should call one of those "teen help line" things. Not because I am going to commit suicide, which I'm not (and yes, I have thought about it, who hasn't?), but because it would give me someone to talk to, about anything, whenever I wanted. I suppose I could do that now if I really wanted to, but I think I would feel uncomfortable telling my friends truly everything. I would like to, but I don't know what they would think about it. They might think I'm weird, or acting really idiotic, I don't know. I probably will never call the teen help line thing, but it seemed like a nice idea at the time, as it does now. I suppose I just really need someone to talk to on a regular basis. A "good" person.

P.S.
The first track on this record is the background music (you'll know what I'm talking about) for ToeJam and Earl. hahahaha.

listening to:
Herbie Hancock - Head Hunters (vinyl)